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                • 咖啡英語全國咨詢給我殺熱線: 400-910-9107
                【雅思寫作】雅思寫作6.5考官點評及更高分數指導
                 作文提分:要先學就已經面臨了絕對會寫----再就是有專家批改----重寫提分

                (橫線劃掉的是學生寫作,紅字為老師更改。)

                topic:

                Some experts believethat it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primaryschool rather than secondary school.

                Do the advantages ofthis outweigh the disadvantages?

                My answer:

                There are disputes that more and more children begin tolearn a foreign languages as early as possible. It is argued that children should learn foreign languages as early aspossible.The advocates Proponents believe that kids will get much more benefits from the trend learning languages earlier. Others,however, think it is better to beginlearning a foreign language from theduring secondary school. Even though learning a foreign languagehas many disadvantages, I approve of the popular trend. I would argue that the advantages oflearning a foreign language at an earlier age outweigh the disadvantages.

                 

                Learning a foreign language in the during childhood has many advantages.First, there is much time for the young kids to adapt to the foreign languages.Thus, the foreign language acquisition becomes an easier task for kids easy for the no talent children.Second, it is a common knowledge that the kids in the young age,benefiting from the strong curiosity and pure mind, are more suitable toacquire a foreign language. In addition, children tend to mimic others, whichis helpful to learn a foreign language as well. Third, kids can know learn about the foreign cultureand society according related tothe language. This different culture contributes to cultivatecultivates their creativities andinnovative ideas.

                 

                Every coin has two sides. Unavoidably, disadvantages existif children begin learning a foreign language in the primary school.First, the language teaching may be poor efficiency inefficientbecause of younger kids’ bad lack of discipline.Second, many advanced tools cannot be used for the young kids, i.e.,such as computer and Internet, considering the potential for misusewhen the addiction to them is considered.However, these disadvantages can be decreased andcontrolled by theparents and teachers.

                 

                In my opinion, the advantages of learning a foreign languageat primary school are significant and its shortcoming can be controlled by theproper teaching method. Thus, I approve of it.

                 

                考官點評:(更高分數指導)

                OVERALL COMMENTS

                - Conclusion is too brief. Essay needs morecontent overall. Not enough argumentation throughout the essay.

                - Good structure overall. Logical flow.

                - Redundancies and grammatical errors throughout.These reduce the overall coherency of the essay. Vocabulary is simple.

                ORIGINAL: TA/6 CC/6 LR/5 GP/5 overall/5.5 NEW SCORE: TA/6CC/6 LR/6 GP/7 overall/6.5